Monday, August 27, 2012

Been Hiding in the Shadows =/

Hey Blog Family

So it's been almost 4 months since you have heard from me =( I've been here but in hiding. I've been checking your posts and reading up but been dealing with stuff on my end.

I had been staying in the same weight range for the whole time (305-310) so I thought I messed up my band, I wasn't loosing weight so I felt even worse about myself and my abilities as well. I  assumed my body was comfortable being 300 lbs since that was all I had ever known. I hadn't been to the surgeon the whole time either because the last fill I had, I puked every meal for two weeks =( so I was subconsciously telling myself it hadn't been that long because I didn't want a repeat. 

I know you are all here for support which I GREATLY appreciate <3 But my personality is the pleaser, I please everyone first and then kind of worry about myself. I'm sure some of you can relate because of course that's how I ended up being 400 lbs. 

I didn't want my journey to end there. When I went to the presentation through my doctors, one question they had us fill out was what we wanted out of bariatric surgery. I answered most importantly that I wanted to be happy and healthy and secondly that I wanted to be a walking example and supporter of the band to show that it does work and if you use it properly you can succeed and live the life you only have dreamed of. 

I finally gave in instead of settling and went and got a fill. They gave back what they took out last time and I was very nervous because obviously I didn't want a puking repeat. It's only been 4 days and seriously if you are doubting anything about your band GO TO YOUR DOCTOR!!! they are magic people lol and know how to make it work!!!!! Only 4 days and I know I'm in my green zone. I didn't understand taking small bites before this fill and OMG seriously when you get there you know!!! I have fully restored my faith in my band <3 <3 <3 sorry I ever doubted it!!!

So onto the better news... I know right... how does it get better than that you ask?!?!???! Well folks when I weighed in at the doctors I was 307.5 today I am at ( drum roll please.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.) 297.7!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am officially under 300 and out of that forever!!!!! It's so weird/ different to see these changes happening. It's more than the number you see on the scale. I feel SO much better. If you have been reading from the beginning I started at 394.4 so that makes me 5 pounds away from losing 100lbs! Never thought it was possible but here I am, almost 100lbs lighter and happier than when I started this journey.

Trust in your self and you will make your own magic happen.

p.s. in 11 days it will be my 11 months so I will post pictures then =)