Happy May!

Hello all! Sorry I've been away for so long. Lots has happened but really no good reason as to why I haven't been here to update and chit chat with you all.

My grandpa passed away so my sister and I ended up going back to South Carolina on short notice. Luckily it was over my spring break but also bad because I was planning on using that time to catch up with school stuff. As of now my mom is still there in S.C. and once they get all the paperwork transferred to her name she will be home... hopefully by the beginning of June!!! 

 

A friend posted this on Facebook and it is a very true statement that I find myself doing way too often =/

So I also went in for a fill in April and I was overfilled. Let me tell you it has been HELL!! I got the fill the first week in April and was supposed to have spring break that next week in case I needed to be unfilled, but like I said my grandpa passed away so off we went out of state. I came back and called to set up an appointment to get unfilled but the soonest they had was for May 10th with another surgeon. I then received a call saying they had to cancel my appointment because the doctor was going to be elsewhere. I was VERY upset. At this point I can not eat anything with out PBing and/or puking so I have been drinking protein shakes for the past two weeks. I called and talked to the lady scheduling and was like "ok when is the next time slot open." she said the next was May 24th!?!?!?!?!?!!!! I was like OH HELL NO.... " at this point I can not eat with out throwing up and therefore I am drinking nothing but shakes and water. I want to eat something... anything. I can not wait that long." she says" alright well we can have you in Monday morning." Alright now that's doing business and I will take it!!!!!  Sometimes it pays to be nice even when you are the one suffering.

All that said I am really looking forward to a nice grilled chicken breast =) YEAHHHH for summer =D

I was asking myself one day why I'm not trying as hard as I could be and I realized it's not something that's my fault. For all of my life I've put myself on the back burner because it seems the bigger you are the more invisible you are to everyone else. I've NEVER made myself a priority. It's always been about pleasing others and then pleasing my emptiness with food. Whether it's family, friends, school, or work I have always naturally put myself last because that's how I have always lived. I didn't realize this until I was asking myself the other day that very question as to why I'm not trying hard enough to lose the weight when losing what I have already, has done so much for me. So I have made a decision to make myself a priority from here on out. I only have one life to live and I want to do all these amazing things. In order to be the happiest I can be, I need to put my health and myself first. =) 


OH what a realization!!! Something so simple yet so hard to do..........


But I've stuck with it and worked out and I feel great!

weight update:

•  Starting weight at beginning of program(Feb 2011): 393.4 lbs
• Surgery day weight(Oct. 7th 2011)   354.2 lbs
• Today's weight: 310.0
  
• Size Shirts: 2XL
• Size pants:28

 so a total of 83.4 pounds lost since I started program and 44.2 pounds lost since surgery =)

 

I'm leaving you with one of my favorite quotes <3 :