Had a pretty uneventful day. Work was a little hectic because one of our 3 people called in but we survived lol. I came home and took a nap so I decided to make the best of the rest of my night so I am meal prepping for the week! Nothing beats being prepared and setting yourself up for success :)
So like I mentioned I have a nephew. I love him so much and I'm so glad he came into our lives! His name is Karsyn and we just celebrated his 2nd birthday in February.
I also mentioned that I had emergency surgery to remove my band. Everything was going well and I was having success for approximately the 1st year after I had been banded. I had lost a lot of weight...120 lbs to be exact. I was proud and excited. At some point I must of had my band over filled and my stomach became inflammed. It must not have gone down before I refilled it again because I had non stop problems with puking and and things getting stuck no matter what the item was. We tried emptying my band again and waiting but obviously that didn't help either because I was still puking and getting food stuck. I did my best to deal with the constant pain and being uncomfortable and the multiple times a day puking. This went on for so long because I thought it was me eating the wrong things and not doing what I should have and not eating small enough bites. I also didn't go in when I should have because I had fallen off my parents insurance and I was still in school so I didn't have the opportunity to get any other with not being full time at work. Obamacare was just rolling out last year so I was looking at plans, however In March 2014 on a Friday I ate fish and then felt it get stuck. It was such a normal feeling at that point I didnt think anything of it. I tried to puke and couldn't so I figured I'd wait it out like I had done in the past. However hours later I still couldn't get water down and I was "puking" blood. It was from the constant acid production and it not going anywhere so I wasn't too alarmed as crazy as it all sounds. It was a Friday like I said so I couldn't call or do anything until Monday. You'd call me crazy for waiting that long without eating or drinking for 3 days..hell even I call me crazy but I work as a surgical tech now and with having previous surgeries I know how expensive it is and without insurance I was panicking to the max! I felt in my gut (no pun intended) that something was seriously wrong this time so I called early Monday morning and they told me to come right in. My doctor is 1.5 hours away so I left and when I got there they said he wanted me admitted. I freaked out and they took my info but assured me they have financial assistance so I felt some relief from that aspect. They took me to my room, had me down to radiology in 20 minutes. I did the barium test and they saw that my band had slipped. I was in surgery within 30 minutes after that. It was a very quick process! My doc saw me after and said my stomach was so inflammed and there was so much scar tissue built up from the constant puking that he couldn't reattach it. He did leave it in my abdominal cavity so if I wanted to reattach it in the future I could. I was really upset about it at first and beating myself up mentally because I wanted to have a better healthier life. I wanted to be successful and be a success story. I felt like a failure.
I was a month from graduation from my surgical tech program and adding all this really blew my mind. I put my weight loss on the back burner and graduated with high honors and on the dean's list. I took my certification exam and passed with flying colors. I had so much to be proud of and all I could think about was failing yet again at weight loss.
Like I said my band is still in there. I don't think I will ever have it reattached. I've done lists of pros and cons and I don't want to go back to daily puking and constantly wondering where the bathroom is so I can puke. I was so uncomfortable I just don't want that life again. With the scar tissue built up I actually still get stuff stuck occasionally even though my band is not hooked. The band didn't work for me but so many other people have been successful and I'm still over the moon excited for them!!
I'm not proud of my weight at this point since I have gained almost all of it back. I have however accomplished so much in my career and made so many new friendships that will last a lifetime. I have great blood pressure and no other health issues so I have that going for me. I try to remind myself to be proud of the little things in life and appreciate all the opportunities that have come my way. I have always been overweight/obese so when my time to lose weight comes, it will be the right time.
Regardless of my size, I am still beautiful. ♡
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