Been on Hiatus

I'm sorry for not posting in a LONG while =( It's been a couple of tough weeks. I've been battling extra hard with my depression lately so I've been sleeping way more than I should and it also makes me not want to do a darn thing =/ Since starting this life changing lap band journey, one of the things I'm big about is recognizing why I have the emotions I do and what's causing them to stick around and make me want to eat badly/binge. Because I'm an emotional eater to even recognize this is truly a huge step forward! Right now it's money that's causing these horrible feelings and unfortunately because this is the season for giving... that means money is involved. 

So now that I have this out in my "awareness zone" it makes me happy because I can control what goes on so I'm not buying things to binge on. Most of this started because my grandpa had a stroke. He is my mother's father and lives in South Carolina. It was crazy trying to find my mom plane tickets out the day after Thanksgiving at 5pm ( she lives in Madison and their airport is smaller so if you fly out of there you pay more money and they transfer you to Milwaukee or Chicago anyway) I was able to find her a flight leaving from Milwaukee but she had to drive here and with traffic she ended up missing it by 5 minutes =( I was working so I had to call some friends to come get her from the airport and bring her to my work (target) and she hung out there until midnight when I got done. I felt bad for leaving her there because the next flight didn't leave until 5am so I didn't want her sitting there for 12 hours. I get a discount so I told her to do some Christmas shopping to waste some time and she did  =) The plan was to have her write me a check before she left so I wouldn't have to worry about the $250 that was gone and we forgot =( 

I also have done ZERO exercising in a long time as well and I know that's why my scale only moves up lately. I've been told that no matter what it is, if you want something to be routine you have to do it for 21 days consecutively in order for it to stick. So this is me committing to start AND continue exercising =D

So I've been stressing about my grandpa and his health.. although they just moved him to rehab so he is doing much better... and money that I don't have which led me to eating binge style which ultimately makes me feel like the biggest pile of shit. I have the band and I want it to help me so mistreating it makes me feel even more shitty =/ Everything is getting better though because I talked to my mom and she is sending me a check so that makes me feel better and I'm also taking a vacation to Florida in exactly one month which I am soooooo looking forward to just get away and relax!!! This is probably the cheapest vaca I will ever take because were staying with friends in Biloxi, Mo for a few days and then driving to my grandparents house... they live in Orlando so we wont have any hotel costs and we will be making food so no outrageous fast food/ fancy dinner bills. Plus we plan on being on the beach most of the days =D were going Jan 2nd-12th and it can not come soon enough!!!!

I mean I keep telling myself that I have handled my emotions with food for the last 20+ years so it isn't going to fix itself over night.. or even in a few months for that matter. I recognize it so like I said it's a HUGE step in the right direction. Now my question to you is what do you do when you feel like eating badly? I live near the ghetto in Milwaukee so walking isn't an option when it gets dark and since winter is closing in dark is sooner than anyone would like. I suppose anything to keep my mind occupied until the urge passes i guess would work... so what works for you????

Not so Manic Monday

My day is pretty uneventful... I started volunteering at the Milwaukee Area Domestic Animal Control Commission here in Milwaukee. They are A LOT different than a humane society which is mostly happy endings for all the animals that come through. Since it is domestic control they do a lot of euthanising  =( I however believe that even though their life may come to an end because of someone else's poor decision making habits or because of something out of their control, they should get the best life they can while on this earth. Anywhooooo I start my training tonight =) I mainly want to walk the dogs because they are cooped up all day in cages and this way they get exercise and so do I!!!!! They have you complete 8 hours of training and cleaning before you can move onto the next level which is walking dogs. I love that unlike most places where you volunteer, you sign up for slots to help out. Here they say come whenever and stay as long as you can, even if it's just for a lunch break. Anything is helpful. And it truly is. It's really cool that they also allow volunteers to assist with spaying and neutering like setting up tools for the surgery and prepping the area and also helping with the animals after surgery, such as waiting with the animal while they are coming out of anesthesia. I am becoming a surgical technician so this is basically my job but for animals so I'm very excited!!!!

** they have partnerships with other humane societies that come through and take animals to get adopted out as well so it's not always a final resting place. They also house lost animals so owners may find them. If not claimed with in a time frame they also will get adopted out if eligible***

I signed my mom and I up for cake decorating classes as a Christmas present =) She's been wanting to take a class FOREVER and I figured since Christmas was so close and I don't get to see her very often, that I would drive up to her once a week (it's a 4 week class) so we could do something we both love and spend time together doing it.  I hope she loves it. I plan on taking all 3 classes so it should be a lot of fun I and I will definitely take pictures so you all can see my (hopefully) sweet skills !!!!

No luck on finding recipes for Turkey Day. I figure to stay safe and get my protein in I will drink shakes as my other meals and I will bring along some unflavored protein powder that I bought from GNC and add it to anything I can. I am also going to make a healthier pumpkin pudding so I will let you all know how that turns out.

weigh in Wednesday... a bit late

So yesterday was weigh in day and I was 341.9 =D that means down 1.5 lbs from last week!!!!! 

I had my first fill on Monday and so far so good. The fill itself wasn't bad at all..... took maybe 20 minutes but only 5 was actually for needles and fluid the rest was prep time for the surgeon.

I am feeling restriction again so hopefully it lasts until I go back in December. 

Thanksgiving is almost here and that makes me nervous because like most families we gather and eat.. and eat...and eat! But that's not the plan for me this year =) It makes me nervous because I want to be able to eat but I'm not sure how every food dish is made so I can't calculate calories to the best of my ability. I was thinking of taking lighter, friendlier dishes that others could eat as well but haven't really looked into it. Any suggestions??

Sweets and Happiness

Every gosh dang time I eat sweets... of course the not good for you kind.. ahmmm oreo's and ice cream I'm talking bout you!  =( I ALWAYS end up feeling like crapola ...I wake up in the middle of the night because my stomach hurts SO bad and I feel uncomfortable in my stomach region the next day.  I'm just gonna stick to my sugar free Popsicles from now on... they love me =) Besides I shouldn't be eating those delicious naughty naughty things anyways.... 

Which brings me to say that I'm struggling with eating again =( I noticed I have been eating when I'm bored so I'm trying to find something to do... maybe a good Wii game or two to play to get my blood pumping and most importantly my mind off food =) Hopefully this will change since I go tomorrow for my first fill.... hopefully it will do it's job so I actually have some restriction instead of this grand canyon sized stomach that screams FEED ME every two hours and allows me to drink a WHOLE glass of water.... =0 

On a plus note I have decided that I want to take a Zumba class again =D I took a class that was offered through a hospital when I lived in Madison back before Zumba became this amazing craze and I LOVED every second of it!!!!!! So since it made me so happy then, I decided I was going to find some place here that offered them as well. My only issue is that most places that offer it around Milwaukee are Gyms you have to have a membership to and since I already have one for anytime fitness I don't exactly want to spend money for another membership to just get classes. BUT problem solved because when I lived in Madison they had a dance studio that I always wanted to go to that was walk in basis... I never actually went because my confidence was lacking.... so that gave me the idea to look for one here in Milwaukee and voilà I found one!!!!! Plus double win for me because I also love Turbo Jam!!!! It's a kickboxing workout with dancey moves so it doesn't feel like you're working out.. at least for me =) When I did weight watchers 6 years ago turbo Jam helped me lose 50 lbs obviously along with eating better, but it was my only exercise regime. 

Any who this place that has walk in Zumba also has Turbo Kick (live version of turbo jam) OH EM GEE!!!!!!!!! how excited am I???? TIMES A BILLION =D  So needless to say  I'm going to buy a punch card which will be an early Christmas present to myself =) 

Nothing like being Happy and Healthy!!!!!!! 

 

Wednesday Weigh In

So I decided Wednesday's will be my weigh in day since normally nothing fun and exciting happens for me on Wednesdays..... thus weighing in will become my fun and exciting thing to do!!!!  =D

Today's Weight: 343.4 ---> 50lbs total lost -----> 40lbs since starting program in February and 10lbs lost since surgery

                            Hopefully they will be happy tears every week LOL

One month bandiversary =D WOOT WOOT

Officially one month post op and still going strong =) I get my first fill in one week so I'm very excited for that... My eating has increased and I also noticed that I'm eating every 2 hours or so. =/ Since it is my one month I decided to snap some photos.Surgery day weight 354.2 lbs.... today's weight 343.4 = 10.8 lbs lost since surgery!!! not too shabby!!! .....I'm clearly seeing the weight change on the scale but don't really see a physical change yet..... you tell me if there is a difference!

(blue tank top pictures were taken morning of surgery and black top was taken today)

Puppy!

I went to my parents tonight to celebrate my older sisters birthday that was on 11-1-11 =) I decided to bring her( my puppy Rylee) back with me for the week =D she is currently sighing at me because I keep taking pictures while she is trying to sleep but it's her fault because she is just so dang CUTE!!!!!! ( see the scratches on her forehead from the car hitting her.. she is one lucky dog!!!!)

I painted my nails a new color since the weather has been icky outside.. did I mention it snowed tonight!!!!! It's wayyyy too early for snow =/ It didn't stick but the flakes were pretty hefty for a while. I LOVE SPARKLES =D

I also just signed up for eharmony because I've always been too afraid to get too close to anyone emotionally to have a relationship so my new goal is to get out there and be me so that I can have someone to be with who likes me for me and not because I look good.. well will eventually =). AND immediately this song pops in my head --->

I'm totally a sucker for some sweet 90's music <3

It's mostly just hit me because my close friends just got married in September and now 3 of my other close friends are having babies.. one of them is hopefully popping one out this weekend LOL... pictures to follow =)

But everyone is "growing up" and moving on to new parts of their lives and I want that too.... 

On the weight loss front nothing new.. officially made it to 50lbs lost (since February when I started the program)  =) ... and 1st fill is in 11 days-- WOOT!!!

sad day =(

So last night I was out to dinner with my roomie for her work gathering and I got a phone call from my mother. She told me that my puppy Rylee had been hit by a car. Living 2 hours away I couldn't just pick up and leave. However she IS fine and VERY lucky to be alive. My parents live in the country and people like to drive 60+ miles an hour but this particular lady wasn't ** thank God** so she just had scrapes and bumps. She stayed at the vet office overnight so they could keep an eye on her and she is home now. All is well and that dang pup will be on a leash from now on!!!

I have already gotten lots of compliments on my coat =) and thank you to those who commented on here <3

I had my 1st check up with the surgeon and all is well. I got the ok to start exercising again(more than just walking) so I'm very excited for that.

On a sad note I think I'm going to drop my classes =( I'm part time now going for surgical tech but with the pre surgery appointments and surgery itself and just moving to a new city I was working lots to pay the bills and my classes have suffered. It's really stressing me out because I've paid for the classes already and wont get any refund at this point but I don't want to see a D or F as a grade when I know I can achieve so much more.

I also learned from the surgeon that when I venture back to him November 14th I will be getting a fill =D I'm really excited to be able to work this tool to the best of it's ability so that day can not come fast enough!!!

I've been trying to find an outfit that I love enough to buy in a smaller size as motivation for me to work my butt off ..literally =) I want to hang it up in my room to remind me of where I'm going in this journey and how good I will look =D no luck yet on finding one =/ BUT I have not given up.... I will keep searching. Has anyone else done this???

oh my

It's been way too long since I've posted!!! naughty naughty.. * slaps hand*

I didn't feel like I had anything to talk about but what the hey I will give you what I've got.

So I believe I had my first PB'ing episode =( my roomie made "mashed" potatoes and  I really wanted some so I took a big spoonful and ate it. They weren't mashed all the way.. hence the quotations... and I didn't chew them to tiny little bits of a nothing and bam it was stuck. I tried to drink water and it was like the most horrible feeling. It felt like I was having a heart attack( not that I know exactly what one feels like). It was an air bubble slowing moving down my esophagus and I started burping and my mouth filled with saliva and the only that helped was to puke it back up =( I felt SO much better afterward though!!!

I moved to the mushies stage on Friday so I got my trusty dusty food processor out and ground some chicken breasts up and then measured them into 4oz portions so I could grab and go for lunch at work or for a quick dinner.I've just been adding in seasoning and I TBSP of mayo w/olive oil and it does the trick.... keeps me full for 4+ hours and has lots of protein which is always a plus =)

I also just got a new coat and hat that I LOVE =) I tried them on last year and they were too small so it was definitely a NSV when I put it on this year and it fit!!!! 

rainy day doesn't get me down

So I over estimated my ability to jump right into lots of walking with 10,000 steps a day. Sad I know but I didn't give up like I would have in the past and re-set my goal to at least 7,000 steps a day and I have made that everyday since =D 

I went grocery shopping with my roommate Amanda and it was a real eye opener to see the aisles I used to go down without hesitation and to see what was being thrown in my cart and would eventually be put into my body. I have no desire for these things anymore because this journey has already taken me to amazing places. It's also crazy to me but I caught myself checking nutrition labels for everything and comparing products so I could get the most protein for the least amount of calories and fat. Craziness!!!!!! Yesterday Amanda wanted McDonald's and she was very concerned about me lol. I was like I have no problem with you eating Micky D's in the car with me because that food has no appeal to me anymore. Yes it smelt delicious but with how far I've come already and with my story just starting is flabbergasting to me. I have accomplished so much since February that it makes my heart smile.

Today I stepped on the scale and it said 346.0

I couldn't stop smiling because that is 3 lbs away from losing 50 lbs already!!!!!! Holy schnanagins!!!

I have started eating mushies even though I supposed to wait until Friday. Just small things like cottage cheese and hummus....mmmmmm love me some hummus <3 I am cooking some acorn squash tonight and I am very excited for it =) You know it's fall when you see pumpkins and squash everywhere =D

Happy Wednesday Everyone!!!

Goals

So I decided every week I'm going to start setting small goals. This week is getting at least 10,000 steps or more EVERY day. I'm considering my weeks from Monday to Sunday but I was able to reach 8869 steps today =) They say that approximately 2000 steps is equal to one mile so I better lace up and get moving =D

My roommate and I went to Gurnee Mills in Illinois to go shopping but I was thoroughly disappointed in the clothing selections there =/  I did however get some sweet walking time in so all was not a loss! We came back to Milwaukee and went to our mall here (Mayfair) and I was able to find some things... no clothing yet =/ I found this really cute bustier at Torrid (like Layne Bryant but aimed towards a younger crowd) I wanted to buy it SO bad because I have never had anything "sexy" but I have no one to show it off too and in reality I will be continuing to lose weight so I wouldn't get to enjoy it long enough.... although I WILL get one eventually =)

I had my first restaurant encounter as a bandster today =0 I was very nervous but knew they had soups so we chose Rain Forest Cafe and I had their tomato basil soup and OMG!!!! it was sooooooo delicious! I wasn't able to eat it all and it came with a triangle slice of bread that was AMAZING! Of course since I'm still supposed to be following my liquid diet I only had 3 tiny little bites of the bread =) I couldn't help myself 

        We had a nice chat and It was so crazy to compare how I normally  used to eat to how I eat now. We would have had an appitizer with our drinks and then continued to stuff down a HUGE plate of food until we felt like bursting.... Quite the change and making it a reality is still struggling with the psychological part... I saw it sitting there and I just wanted to finish everything because that's how I always used to eat every meal. 

I'm excited to see these positive changes and how my life is moving in the right direction =D 

HOPE EVERYONE HAS A WONDERFUL START TO THEIR WEEK!!!!!!!!!!

Lazy Saturday

Nothing special today..... ran some errands and made it a lazy Saturday. I did however find out that chobani has recipes on their website which is pretty awesome! You can add the unflavored Greek yogurt into recipes because it has a similar texture to certain foods and you can't tell the difference plus it has the extra protein so it's a win - win..... you should check it out if you'd like some fresh ideas =D

I also was looking at my cookbooks so I could get ideas for when I start switching back to food and I completely forgot about my Deceptively Delicious cook book by Jessica Seinfeld. It's altered towards feeding kids and getting more nutrients in by adding purees to foods so that the taste is masked but that you still have the good stuff =) There are some really good recipes in there that I will try out when I get to the soft and regular food stage and will post the outcomes. I think it's not just for kids but really smart for WLS peoples and people trying to add more good things into their diet. It's a creative way to add vegetables and fruits to your diet besides just eating them plain. The only thing I don't like is that it doesn't give you the nutritional information but that is easy enough to find on the internet with recipe making programs such as this one from sparkpeople.com

this is a sample recipe from her book: ( taken from her site )

Macaroni and Cheese 1

With Butternut Squash or Cauliflower

Prep time: 5 minutes, Total time: 25 minutes
Serves 4

ingredients

1 1⁄2 cups	elbow macaroni
	Nonstick cooking spray
1 tbsp	olive oil
1 tbsp	all-purpose flour
1⁄2 cup	nonfat (skim) milk
1⁄2 cup	butternut squash or cauliflower puree
1 1⁄2 cups	shredded reduced-fat Cheddar cheese (about 8 ounces)
4 oz	(almost 1 ⁄4 cup) reduced-fat or nonfat cream cheese
1⁄2 tsp	salt
1⁄8 tsp	paprika
1⁄8 tsp	pepper

directions

1. Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil, add the macaroni, and cook according to package directions until al dente. Drain in a colander.
2. While the macaroni is cooking, coat a large saucepan with cooking spray and heat over medium heat. Add the oil, then the flour, and cook, stirring constantly, until the mixture resembles a thick paste but has not browned, 1 to 2 minutes.
3. Add the milk and cook, stirring every now and then, until the mixture begins to thicken, 3 to 4 minutes. Add the vegetable puree, Cheddar, cream cheese, and seasonings, and stir until the cheese is melted and the sauce is smooth. Stir in the macaroni and serve warm.

Joy:

“This is a great source of calcium: one portion provides
a full serving—the equivalent of one cup of milk.
And because it uses lowfat cheese, kids get all that great
calcium without the saturated fat of the traditional recipe.”

I've been searching for many a recipe for when I start eating again because I don't want to stick with your standard meat- veggie- potato set up for dinner (or something similar). I want variety and I love to cook and bake and find new ways of doing something...... so that being said it is something else I will be venturing with and sharing on here =)

I really want to make something right now but since I still have 6 days of liquids left I feel like I would be torturing myself too much lol

One week Banded!!!!

Dear liquid diet I am beginning to dislike you! I am officially one week out and all is well ..... well minus this =(

I normally have really dry skin so I thought it was just because of the tape they had used to keep my breathing tube in during surgery and some lotion would help it go away. Boy was I wrong! It's horribly dry and itchy and burned when I was putting lotion on it and I was putting lotion on literally 10 times a day but nothing was helping.... I tried this thick cream my mother gave me a while back and the only thing that did was make me look like I was shaving "my beard" LOL

So my surgeons nurse called to check up and make sure everything was going well and I mentioned the situation and she said it's most likely an allergic reaction to latex...... BOO =(    I went to the store and bought some generic Vaseline and it seems to be working so far so hopefully it will clear up soon cause let me tell you walking around with a shiny face is not ideal                                                        

    

 Although.... my roommate gets a kick out of it and laughs every time she looks at me =) so that's always fun =)

So I've been tracking like nobody's business which was one way I was so successful pre-op but I must have lost some brain cells during surgery lol cause I had the hardest time figuring stuff out yesterday... I had a can of tomato soup over an hour and I looked at the info. Since I had split it into two separate times that I drank I was like okay so the can says 90 calories and 2 grams of protein so that's what I wrote for the total. Today I looked at my book and was like WTF CHERYL!!!!! hahhahha ohhh geezus! that's per serving and welcome to America folks but rarely is there one serving in anything anymore. sooo when I recalculated my totals I was like ohhh yeahhh that is much better =D Silly me =P

IT'S FALL OUTSIDE!!!!

hello pretty leaves a fallin and sweat shirt and jeans weather!!!! oh how I love thee <3 There are so many wonderful things about fall time but I love the fact that the wonderful weather always puts me in a good mood and watching the leaves change is just beautiful =)

Just a few things I love:

• as stated before sweat shirt and jeans
• all kinds of colors 
• soups/stews 
• bonfires
• fuzzy slippers 
• hayrides and pumpkins and HALLOWEEN 
• and many more!!!! 

they haven't really changed but here are my scars one week post op

 




 My baby slept with me after surgery =) she makes my heart smile <3









alright time to go drink my broccoli & cheese soup and watch my Brewers play =)

YEAH BREW CREW!!!

Welp here's the truth folks.........

I weighed in a moment ago and TUHHH DAAAAA 348.2!!!!! HOLY POOP i'm under 350!!!!!! Let me tell you how excited I am... danced A LOT =) and called my mom and roommate with a big smile on my face ...like this --> =D....

So here are my before pictures and info:

• Starting weight at beginning of program(Feb 2011): 393.4 lbs
• Surgery day weight 354.2 lbs
• Size Shirts: 3XL
• Size pants: 32
• I posted an earlier blog with my measurements

I'm very excited to have come so far already and I feel bad but had a slip up last night. I promised myself that I wouldn't cheat because I want this to work to the best of my ability and the bands ability... and then the head hunger made a drive by =( Let me be the 1st to say it was not pretty! I was aware of the situation arising but only being on clear liquids (5 days post-op)  I certainty did NOT follow that rule for 10 minutes of eating HELL  I manged to eat ranch dip and then a piece of cheese with a tiny piece of  turkey lunch meat... and then the horrible bread kept staring at me with it's evil eyes and I gave in to a piece..of course with ranch on top....knowing I would suffer later.... I haven't been able to eat yet today (6pm currently)and have only consumed water so far =/ I've been SO uncomfortable I definitely learned my lesson!!!!!!

On a plus note like I started with,  I weigh 348.2 WOOT WOOT!!!! Officially a 45.2 lbs loss =D

 These were taken the morning of surgery......

 

 

I decided to also take more time off from work so I'm gonna have the next 10 days to recuperate and enjoy not having a busy schedule!!!

ALSO I went on a wonderful walk with a best friend today and it was amazing!!! Thanks to her I have already reached 12171 steps and that's amazing considering I only did just over 5000 yesterday... LOVES YOU  <3

Alive & Kicking =D

Hey friends I made it!!!! Today is officially 4 days post-op and I am doing FABULOUS!!!! Had some horrible gas pains until yesterday. I am surprised that I haven't had any shoulder pain either.. but hey I will take it!! LOL...... OHHH BOY am I excited for the mushy stage already!! It was sooooooo nice to be able to have "real food" again even if it's just soup =) I have some wonderful pictures of me in the hospital...I got there at 7:40 and checked in. Didn't wait more than 5 minutes and they were taking me back to get me hooked up and ready. The nurses were really nice and I didn't

**runs away cause my soup was boiling over =0

have any nerves just tons of excitement. I'm going to school for Surgical Technologist and as they wheeled me in the OR the anesthesiologist tech was so excited for me he kept telling everyone so then the surgical tech there for me was like "oh really? we have a position open 7-5 no holiday's it's perfect!" and the doctors were like yea you should!!!. I was like well I live in Milwaukee (surgery was in Madison- 1.5 hours away) and they were like ohh well do you plan on moving back- with grins on their faces- and I was like well depends on the job market when I finish my degree =D

It made me laugh cause I was like uhh hey guys I'm here for surgery not a job interview but it's good to know that they liked my personality and maybe when school is done I will apply there =)

I was able to leave by 3 but was a bit nauseated from trying to walk too fast and  taking a big gulp of ice cold water... learned my lesson!!!!!  so I left at 4. All in all not a horrible day.

Here are some pictures for your enjoyment------>

< -----right after checking in 

               excited for surgery ----->

 <------ still excited for surgery =D

me and my mama <3

^ sleepy head after surgery 

I also will show you my incisions.....

 

This was the day after surgery

not to shabby if I say so myself =)

I want to post my "before" pictures but will wait until next time so you're not all pictured out!!! =)

Hope everyone's day is going well so far!!!!!! 

*** oh and they let me keep my earring in =) and current weight 351.1 =D (in February started at 393.4 so I've officially lost 42.3 lbs!!!!)

7 hours people!!!!!

So the time has come to get cut..hahha but for reals I'm very excited!! I have to check in at 7:45am in Madison WI. I currently live in Milwaukee WI so that means about an hour and a half drive for me to not be able to drink anything and to be thinking about the surgery =Z  Makes me nervous!! 

• No food or liquids after midnight... CHECK
• Bag for hospital packed: CHECK
• Medications I am currently taking packed: CHECK
• House stocked with clear liquids for after surgery: CHECK
• Sister and puppy coming back home with me for help and support: CHECK =)
• Ready for the biggest decision I have ever made in my life...uhhhhhh about that =Z 

So I've been doing this process for over 8 months and I know it's right for me but everyone gets the pre-surgery nerves-a-racking thing... I have had surgery before so I know what to expect but this is a whole lot different than walking on crutches for a few months until my knee is better.. this is life changing... but for the better =D

 That's my girl!!!! Her name is Rylee or as I call her toot toot and I love her to death <3 She is a bit bigger now but being a rat terrier she wont weigh more than 15 lbs total

 


I bought a few things the other day to add to my "after surgery collection" Working at Target as you know can be hazardous lol but I saw they had dollar spot toddler silverware which I was planning on buying but getting them for a dollar (for one pair) is definitely a WIN!!! Lapbandtalk.com had a lot of people recommend it and I had my doctor recommend getting toddler silverware because it's the right portion size for your stomach after surgery...plus they are fun designs so I thought what they hey might as well!

  I bought waterproof band-aids to cover my incisions with so they don't get irritated and................................

 I also purchased some liquid Tylenol- also highly recommended by peeps already banded =)
Almost everyone is very helpful there and they have so much knowledge to give I just love it and I am so thankful!!!!!!!!!    I also got thermacare heat pads to help with shoulder pain...............................

 propel packets to mix with water so I can change up the flavor every once in a while.........................................

a thermometer to make sure I'm not running a fever after surgery during the recovery period..............................................





















and of course TREATS AND A TOY for my baby!!!!!!! I have a feeling she will love them =D









I am taking my camera with me to the hospital to record things for you guys and for myself so In a few hours I will do my "before" pictures before leaving the house and I will post them when I can. 




The nurses said no jewelry which I am not excited for since I have my tongue, lip, and 3 ear piercings( conch, cartilage, and anti-tragus) I'm not concerned about most them closing since I've had them a while but I just got my anti-tragus and it's been doing a I don't want to heal-get infected- pretend to be good- only to be infected again cycle and with my hectic schedule I didn't have time to get a retainer/clear non-metal piece to fit in it so it doesn't close.... I'm hoping that if I take everything else out they will let me keep that one since it's small and the piercer actually clamped the ball on so I would have to use pliers to get it off.... we will see I guess =0


alrighty tighty peeps... off to take my pre-surgical shower and catch a few Z's before I get up at 5:30am to head out for surgery!!!! Wish me luck!!!!!

ohhh my 3 days and naughty roomates!!

Hey friends!!! It's Tuesday... which means in 3 days I will be banded!!!! I can not tell you how excited I am for this new chapter in my life to start =D 


So last night I got a text from my roommate saying she was making cupcakes and wanted to know if I wanted to help. If you knew anything about her you would know she DOES NOT cook or bake to save her life ( which I'm trying to help change) so when I saw that I was like heck yes I wanna help!!!! I mean "she made them" for her work so it's not like they were sitting around the house to torment me so I thank her and they were Halloween ones so how could I say no =) 
 I will say I came across a few instances where I wanted to lick my fingers because loving to bake and cook it's the norm to "taste" and/or "clean" off the mess! But I was so proud I caught myself almost doing it only twice (to my surprise)  and I washed them off with water so crisis averted!!!!!  I really enjoy that this lap-band journey has helped me put things into perspective and been able to help me actually stick to it. I'm still on my pre-op diet of shakes and bars so temptations are around but none that I have indulged in or want to for that matter =D I'm so ready to change and seeing these little steps reminds me that change for the better is in my near future AND is attainable unlike all of these other attempts in my past...... 

*** In all fairness she did put the cupcake liners in the pan and put the sprinkles on top-- baby steps people =) ****



My appetite has been lacking the past few days and not because I'm nervous about surgery or stressed I just haven't been thinking about food so much as what my life will be like after surgery.... I feel kind of bad because I'm not meeting my calorie goals- I'm supposed to have 7 shakes and 2 bars a day to equal 1020 calories but I've managed only 3 shakes and 1 bar the past two days =/ I've been drinking a lot of water but only having 460 calories isn't ideal. I guess it's kind of helpful because  I shouldn't expect a whole lot of calories the first few days of surgery so I guess I'm just starting a bit early =D 

                      delicious looking cupcakes ---->

 

3 DAYS AND COUNTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FIVE DAYS =0

So folks 5 days left in my "before" journey... I'm so very excited that I've come so far since February. I stepped on the scale this morning and ta-da!!! it said 360 lbs!!!!! I started at 393 so that means I've lost 33 lbs!!!!!!!  I'm so ready for this part of my life to start that I'm all smiles =D I had the normal panic moments last week and thought "what am I doing? Is this right for me? I've lost weight already, maybe I can do this on my own. Oh no!!! I can never eat the food that I want to again!" and so on..... But I realized that the reason I started this journey was because yes I can lose weight but I have a hell of a time keeping it off and silly Cheryl you will be able to eat foods again, just not in the ginormous portions my brain is used too "needing" to feel "good".

I had professional pictures taken yesterday with my sisters and I to give to my parents for Christmas. I didn't like any of the ones by myself of course since I'm the one who is usually behind the camera... I did manage to find one that I was okay with enough to keep as a "before" picture and I plan on going back when I reach my goal weight to take "after" pictures just so that I can have a little book on my journey so years from now when I'm having a bad day I can just look at what I will have accomplished and be able to feel good again =D

Busy week ahead with school and work so I will try and post as often as I can =)

 Here's to 5 days left!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

of course with water though!!!!